Here is something we should all remind ourselves of when we are looking for excuses:
The only common denominator among every program you have ever done, every weight loss book or DVD you have ever purchased, or trainer you have worked with … is YOU.
Tough love? Yes. The absolute truth, so help you God? Yeppers. Do you remember your grade school math? Addition, division, common denominators? Not too difficult, right? When it comes to nutrition and exercise, we definitely have a way of making things much more complicated than they need to be. The simplest (and best) nutrition advice is to eat mostly plants and animals, with a focus on eating food, and not “food products.” Any time we veer from this focus, we are too often justifying or rationalizing why we are doing so. (Remember, 2 of the 4 paths to negative emotion are justification and rationalization.) We tell ourselves we are in a hurry, we didn’t have time to prepare a meal, we just HAD to satisfy our “sweet tooth”, we didn’t want to disappoint our host, or upset mom as she slaved in the kitchen for hours preparing those chicken and dumplings.
These excuses, or “stories”, all point to external reasons for why we make the decisions we make.
People have 2 things in life … stories or results.
We love stories, most of us communicate and express ourselves through stories. But how often is our story justifying behavior we may regret later? With each story, no matter how rational it may seem, we are feeding our unconscious mind, and fueling our thoughts. Our thoughts become actions … our actions … define our character. Our primary goal in this stage of the weight management game is to discover our current source for our stories, which in turn may define our current mind-set. Our current mind-set has gotten us to where we are today.
So what has held you back or gotten you to today, wanting to lose weight? Your work schedule? Your parents? Your income? Vision or lack thereof? A lack of motivation? Our genes? Our marriage? Our goal for the next 12 weeks is to update our internal software with positive reinforcement from daily affirmations, support groups, and of course, weekly results, (measured in more ways than just the scale) so that we begin identifying with and owning new positive sources for our stories: ones filled with vision, motivation, patience and purpose. (You will not have a positive source without specific goals in tact. Please finish writing down your goals before next weigh in.)
The first step to shifting our mind-set is to take ownership in the common denominator idea. Take ownership and personal responsibility of the fact you have chosen to get to where you are today. You have been blessed with an amazing opportunity to change your thoughts and resulting actions in an instant; therefore choosing to be better. Not perfect, simply better. Own up to the decisions you make each day. Someone recently told me “I was a victim of the promises of the ABC weight loss program.” Really? A victim? 
“Victim” is one of the many negative words, up there with not, never, cannot, no, and will not, that we MUST eliminate from our vocabulary. If we believe we are victims of something like a weight loss program, this may be proof we are passively allowing life to happen to us, without taking control and ownership in our decisions. Successful people are not victims. The first step to maintaining a positive mind-set is to eliminate such negative internal dialogue. Tell yourself daily, “I am in control.”
If we eat when we are stressed, (signifying a lack of control), then eating itself eventually becomes the stressful event. (Stress is a major cause of physical illness and obesity.)
It is time to take control, own up to the decisions you have made, and make future decisions you will want to own. Have you been searching for the right program for you? The one with the promises that sound best? How long will you search for that weight loss program specifically catered to your schedule, your food likes and dislikes, your family, your age, your genes, etc. The common denominator is what needs to change.
Be the change you wish to see. – Ghandi.
- Ghandi with Weight Loss Wisdom
No one could have said it any better than Coach Ghandi, and they may not be a better piece of advice when beginning a weight loss journey. When starting off, first attempt to close the gap between what you know and what you are actually doing with what you know. So how do you do this? First, take ownership by putting the words “I choose” or “I chose to” in front of your stories, especially when discussing them with your SAFE Fitness Coach or other supporters. Tell us about happy hour, tell us about your running late for work, tell us your stories, just begin with “I chose”:
- Hey Dave, I chose to go to Happy Hour Friday and have extra chips and 2 extra beers because it was my sister’s birthday and I chose to celebrate my love for her by eating food and drinking alcohol.
- Hey Rebecca, I chose to ignore your last email and not fill out my Goals/Strategies although I have heard from you 4 times that trying to get to a destination without a road map is nearly impossible.
- Hi James, nice shirt. This past week, I chose to have a piece of cake at this wedding. I normally would have had a few drinks, an extra buffet serving, and my brother’s cake too, but I chose to be better. I chose to celebrate the wedding on the dance floor and visiting with friends I had not seen in years. It was awesome and I feel so great about the choices I made!
- Hey Becky, you and James must shop at the same store … anywho, I chose to walk on the treadmill 4 times this week instead of doing any strength training. This is what I have done in the past, and I am choosing the definition of insanity route, (doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time.) I chose not to leave my comfort zone.
When you own up to the decisions you have made, good or not so good, then begin seeing results as the fruits of the better decisions you will begin making today, your motivation and drive will be unstoppable. This is all we ask for now. Own your decisions, become aware of how they make you feel. Then decide whether those similar future decisions will have to change to get to your stated goals. Reprogram your current unconscious state of mind by using this simple, yet powerful, positive language. Losing weight, or otherwise developing positive, healthier habits, is about self change, you can do it, and you deserve it!
